Here’s The Single Most Important Thing You Must Avoid as a Congressional Aide

No, this is not another one of the seemingly endless parade of books, articles, videos and podcasts dealing with topics like “how to succeed without really trying,” or “the seven healthiest habits of the seven happiest colleagues you know,” or “you deserve to be the boss.”

This is about the tough reality of living and working on Capitol Hill, regardless if you plan on being around only a couple of years or you are approaching your second or even third decade on the Hill.

Unfortunately, I didn’t figure it out until many years after leaving my last full-time position on a congressional staff, serving as Communications Director for Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) during his first term. Once I did, though, as part of a profound spiritual transformation in me, it deepened my appreciation for the unique professional challenges that come with being a congressional aide.

Why am I sharing this with you now? Because I’ve worked on the Hill or covered it for more than three decades (mostly as a journalist, talking to aides regularly) and God has given me a passion to share with men and women working there now some of the hard, practical lessons I’ve learned along with the way.

So here goes: A couple of days ago, I sat down to read a book written by a guy I will meet and hear speak tomorrow at the Conservative Partnership Institute (CPI). His name is Tom Barrett. It’s not a political meeting, but rather a gathering of followers of Jesus Christ who happen to work on or with the Hill.

Barrett spent years on the Hill, mostly working with and for Members, so he knows the place from the inside. The title of his book, which he wrote in 1994, is “Walking the Tightrope.” Trust me, some of the details of the tightrope are a little different, but the basic structure is precisely the same because human nature is precisely as it was when Barrett worked on the Hill.

I had hardly gotten into Barrett’s book when I came upon this paragraph:

“Washington political life can numb people’s senses, obscure their values, and fill their schedules. It offers unlimited opportunities of interesting places to go, unusual things to do, and wonderful people to meet. For the politically elite, Washington provides a chance to meet just about everyone in the world. The one person many don’t meet is themselves. They can lose sight of who they are and what is important.”

Read that again because there is something about the Hill and the people it attracts that makes them – us – unusually susceptible to being fooled, about the Hill and about themselves. I know because that’s exactly what happened to me during my four years as a Hill aide.

Me and my job became the impenetrable center of my life. At the expense of everything and everybody else, especially those closest to me. And most especially to the Lord and Savior I hypocritically professed to believe in but did not actually follow.

Without giving away the whole store and thus removing the incentive for you to get and read your own copy of “Walking the Tightrope,” let me quote a few graphs that will point you in the right direction:

“If people in the political world want to have healthy and balanced relationships, they need to learn one thing: how to remove themselves from center stage. They need to ‘get out of the spotlight.'”

“We may have many pressing and important responsibilities in our professional lives. Our jobs may be incredibly important. But they will never exempt us from the realities and obligations  of our private lives. No matter how prestigious the position, no magical power exists suddenly eliminates the need to tend to our personal relationships. They need to be cultivated, watered and fertilized. If these necessities are ignored, they will wither and die.”

“If you have a son who just made varsity football or tennis, he is just as excited as you would be to receive a key committee assignment. We need to care enough to see the events of their lives from their perspectives. This only happens if you intentionally choose to focus your attention on your spouse and children.”

There is much more that Barrett has to say, but those graphs capture the core of most important thing you must avoid – never, ever let your career, your status, your influence, your prospects for advancement – become the center of your life, at the expense of your spouse, your children, your closest friends and your extended family.

Barrett’s book is full of vital insights, practical suggestions and a detailed road map for navigating your path on the Hill. Just pondering some of his chapter titles will give you an appreciation for the ground he covers:

• “The Hidden Marathon”
• “Professionally Friendly, Personally Friendless”
• “Work at Your Marriage, Don’t Marry Your Work”
• “The Making of a Candidate … for an Affair”
• “Postscript for Spin Control.”

Trust me, if you work on the Hill and regardless if you are still young and single, or married with a spouse, three kids and a mortgage, reading “Walking the Tightrope” will be one of the most important things you ever do for yourself and those who love you.

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