Marriage and Family: Finding the Love of Your Life on the Hill

By Bret Bernhardt

For many of us on Capitol Hill, when we were single and those who are single today, finding a lifelong marriage relationship was or is at the top of our To-Do lists. If not at the top, it’s certainly running in the background.

If this is true for you , what’s to be done about it?

The good news is that working on Capitol Hill is a great place to find someone who shares your view of the world.  Not only that, you will also share many common interests and likes, which helps on the compatibility questions.

Why is this? Because you’ve already selected this workplace independently, which is based upon mutually shared aspirations and values. So, it’s naturally a good place to start when looking for someone with whom to spend the rest of your life.

If this is you, how best to go about it? The simple answer is let it happen in God’s time, in the ordinary course of life. He has promised us what our hearts long for as we trust Him and obey.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:4. This means, as you are faithful to Him in the ordinary course of your work, leisure, and downtime, you are very likely to find that person.

A good analogy is that of an athlete, whose objective is to hit a ball, score a goal, or cross the finish line. That objective is accomplished in the rhythm of athletic activity. For example, when playing golf, the ball should simply be in the path of a good swing.

The field of play for those working on Capitol Hill is where you are at the moment. It is your community. I recall, for example, when Senator Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.) was in the Senate, he spoke at a Jewish holiday reception in the Dirksen building. I had stopped by with a couple of friends.

Your Field of Play:

He was very intentional about the importance of creating opportunities for community and encouraging people to gather together to get to know one another. I’m sure this resulted in a number of budding relationships. It was very natural and happened in the regular course of life.

This rich community extends beyond Capitol Hill, and to those whom you meet by your proximity to the Hill. This is especially true for believers in this area who find community in their churches and in friend groups that are an offshoot of the relationships that result from being on Capitol Hill.

In the same way, where is your community? And are you intentional about seeking it out. Because, the Lord expects us to be active in pursuing lifelong friendships in fellowship with Him and other believers. This is particularly true about the one you will marry.

Workplace Like No Other:

The number of people I know who met while working on Capitol Hill and are now married is pretty amazing. In my own family, my daughter and son-in-law met while working in the Senate. While I didn’t meet my wife working in the Senate, we met among friends related to my work and then later were engaged when we both worked in the Senate.

If you take a moment, you’ll see this trend as well. And the reason this happens is our shared worldview when we step through the office door. It is a workplace like none other. We are working for a person, not an entity, and that person shares certain values, beliefs, and ideologies that attract us to work there.

When Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, his servant went to a place in which there were shared values and interest. That is, the community well in his native land.

“O LORD, God of my master, Abraham,” he prayed. “Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water.” – Genesis 24:12-13

So, it’s no surprise to find like-minded people in our unique workplace. I would venture to say that working on Capitol Hill is one of the best places to find your marriage partner.

Bret Bernhardt served on the Hill as Chief of Staff to senators Don Nickles of Oklahoma and Jim DeMint of South Carolina. He is a member of the Board of Directors of the Conservative Partnership Institute and the 52-Week Ministry Foundation, the non-profit behind HillFaith.